You Snooze, You Lose!

Jeep:  REALLY?  He's asleep?  The one time of the year he's allowed to stay up all night and he's passed out!

Pumpkinspice:  Tell me about it...what a party pooper!  Well now what do we do?

Jeep:  Well let's just put the headband on his head and head back downstairs.

Pumpkinspice:  I can't find his head...no problem.

Jeep:  You did not just put the headband on his rump!

Pumpkinspice:  You snooze, you lose.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ONE AND ALL!

Not Your Ordinary Christmas Presents

 

Jeep:  I'm almost afraid to ask, but what are you doing?

Pumpkinspice:  Putting bows on all of Peapod's presents I snagged.

Jeep:  Mom already wrapped all his presents...what do you mean by snagged?

Pumpkinspice:  I know Mom and Dad bought him presents, but let's face it, they have absolutely no clue what he likes.  I, on their other hand, have a very perceptive understanding of his needs and wants.

Jeep:  Yeah I'm almost positive Mom and Dad aren't going to like you giving away their things!  Look I get that Peapod likes to play with Dad's peepers and yank Mom's hairclip out of her hair, but that doesn't mean you can ''snag'' those things, stick a bow on it, and give it to Peapod without their permission...and what exactly is he supposed to do with an empty box?

Pumpkinspice:  You really have no imagination!!  Peapod loves empty boxes, he likes to put things in them, dump them out, stack them, ride in them...

Jeep: Ok, ok, I get it...what about the box full of wipes.  What could he possibly want with that?!

Pumpkinspice:  Oh he's going to LOVE it!  I'm going to rig it so he can have a whole box of wipes that he can seamlessly pull out of the box.  I would have loved to give him an endless supply of wipes to yank out but I guess a two hour supply is better than nothing.

Jeep:  And exactly how do you think Mom is going to react when she's cleaning up the mess that you helped inspire Peapod to create?

Pumpkinspice:  It's a two for one special.

Jeep:  Come again?

Pumpkinspice:  Keep up will you, Peapod gets his wipes, and Mom gets wipes for easy clean up.  She's always looking for something to wipe up his messes, now he'll be inadvertently helping her and never know it...go ahead you can call me a genius.

Jeep:  Yup, not gonna happen...ok what about the magazine?

Pumpkinspice:  He likes to rip paper, now he can rip away this Christmas...you know you're the older bear and yet you know nothing about Peapod.

Jeep:  MY job as older bear is to keep you two younger bears out of TROUBLE, not help you and him create more trouble!  Speaking of getting in trouble, how do you plan on explaining to Mom and Dad how Peapod got all their things?

 

 

Pumpkinspice:  Psshhhh, you act like I'm an amateur!  I'm slightly offended you know, but don't worry, the Big Man from the North Pole will be helping me out.

Jeep:  Wow you're really digging yourself into a pit aren't you?  It's bad enough you're doing all of this, but to claim Santa gave him all these little ''goodies?!''  Yup, he's gonna give you coal this year, without a doubt in my mind, you're getting coal.

Pumpkinspice:  Oh stop being so dramatic, just trust me this will all work out!

Jeep:  Ok fine we'll do it your way but here's a little news flash for you, there's no space under the tree, so good luck with all that.

Pumpkinspice:  Who needs luck, when I have a Mr. Mouse Rose.  Oh Mr. Mouse Rose, where are you?

 

 

Mr. Mouse Rose:  It tis I little bear, how may I be of assistance?

Pumpkinspice:  I need you to put all these presents under the tree for me.

Mr. Mouse Rose:  Presents...what presents?

Pumpkinspice:  What do you mean 'what presents?'  You're standing in one of them!

Mr. Mouse Rose:  This is a present?!  Has your family fallen on hard times?  I better find a backup family for next year.

Pumpkinspice:  NO WE HAVEN'T FALLEN ON HARD TIMES!!  Just put them under the tree...please?

Mr. Mouse Rose:  Absolutely not!  These are not your ordinary Christmas presents and I will not place just odd things under my tree.

Jeep:  Oh this is just too good.  Now what are you going to do Pumpkinspice?

Pumpkinspice:  Fine!  I guess Santa is coming a day early and I'll just give all his presents to him the minute he wakes up from his nap!!

Jeep:  Yup, coal, you're getting coal.

Merry Christmas from our odd little family to yours!!!

Thanksgiving Dinner Dilemma...

 

Jeep:  I can't believe Mom locked us down here like she does Peapod!

Pumpkinspice:  I know, I feel like a caged bear...it's just wrong on sooooo many levels!

Jeep:  By the way, nice diaper you're sporting!

Pumpkinspice:  Thanks, I figured since the game comes on later tonight and Peapod probably can't wear the terrible towel diaper then I needed to take care of business.

Jeep:  I'm so proud of you I could actually shed a tear...hey guys, did you find a way in through the other gate?

 

JackJack:  Nope, your Mom's got us in full lockdown.

Big Teddy:  I can't even reach the latch on this gate like I can on the other one!

Pumpkinspice:  I smell Butterball turkey, and it's coming from the kitchen!!

Jeep:  Sorry little buddy but Mom decided not to buy Butterball this year.

Pumpkinspice:  What?!  First she locks us in the living room without a bathroom, and no way into the kitchen for snacks, and now you're telling me I don't get a Butterball turkey for my THANKSGIVING DINNER?!!!!!!!

Jeep:  Breathe...you know Mom is trying to make sure Peapod eats organic or semi-organic as best she can, and it's our responsibility to help her any way we can.

Pumpkinspice:  Fine, but how are we going to get in the kitchen...I'M STARVING!

 

 

Skittle Monkey:  Leave it to me boys, I can scale any baby gate there is.  I'll have this latch popped in two shakes of a tail.

 

Skittle Monkey:  My hands slipped, I'm falling...I can't look!!!

SheepSheep:  Y-y-you know you're o-o-only two inches o-o-off the ground, r-r-right?

Skittle Monkey:  Oh, I well, you see...

Jeep:  Can we move this along?

Pumpkinspice:  Yeah, I'm starving...have I mentioned I'm starving?!

 

ApeApe:  Go Skittle Monkey go!!

Big Teddy:  He's almost to the top.

 

SheepSheep:  H-h-he's almost g-g-got it!

Jeep:  FREEDOM!!!!

Pumpkinspice:  TURKEY!!!!!

 

 

Wishing everyone a dilemma free Thanksgiving Dinner this year, Happy Turkey Day...gobble, gobble!

Itchy Butt!!!!

 

Jeep:  Alright, as you all know Peapod has been fighting a wicked diaper rash.  And as we all know, there's nothing grumpier than a bear with a chapped butt.

JackJack:  We're here to help, what can we do?

Pumpkinspice:  Fan out, and bring back anything we can use to fight his itchy butt...meet back here 10.

JoeJoe: Sure sure!

Jeep:  Alrighty let's see what we got here...ok who brought olive oil, oatmeal, and flour?!

Pumpkinspice:  I did, smart thinking huh!

Jeep:  Not really...you do know we're fighting a diaper rash and not making oatmeal cookies right?!

Big Teddy:  Oooooh can we make oatmeal cookies later?  I know Cookie Monster would love them!

Pumpkinspice:  Yes we'll make cookies later and yes Jeep I know we're fighting a diaper rash!  I called MomMom and asked her what we could use on his butt with items we have already.  She said to grind up the oatmeal and make an oatmeal bath which will help with the itching.  The olive oil helps with redness and rash irritations.  AND, if we brown the flour we can use it like baby powder on his bottom to help dry him up down there!  Now WHO'S making cookies?!

Jeep:  Wow, I'm impressed...MomMom's a genius!

Pumpkinspice:  Yeah but I called her!

Jeep:  Moving on...let's use MomMom's home remedies to start off with.  That should give us enough time to figure out which cream would be best on his tushy.

 

 

SheepSheep:  You heard it boys, assume the position.

Jeep:  Exactly what are you doing?

Pumpkinspice:  If we're gonna find a cream for Peapod we should try it on us first.

JackJack:  Yeah, we wouldn't want him to react badly to it.

ApeApe:  Use the stronger cream on my tushy since it's smoother and less fuzzy...kinda similar to Peapod's.

Jeep:  Guys, I'm pretty sure it doesn't work like that, and even if it did I'm not rubbing cream on your tushies...now sit back down while I try to remove the image of your tushies from my mind.

 

Jeep:  Alright Pumpkinspice let's demonstrate to the others how to pin a prefold cloth diaper on, then we'll all take turns practicing and perfecting the procedure.

Big Teddy:  I don't do diapers...period.

Jeep:  Yes you will, cause we're all taking turns.  This is not a debate.

JoeJoe:  Sure sure.

ApeApe:  Hold up, what happened to the old system?

Jeep:  Well, Mom decided Peapod should be on cloth diapers now since Peapod has been having such a bad reaction to his disposable diapers.  Now back to the tutorial...we need to learn how to use these safety pins properly or Peapod could get hurt.

 

 

Pumpkinspice:  I make this diaper look good!

JackJack:  I don't see how this is going to work, he's already so wiggly as it is!

Jeep:  Well, does anyone have any viable options?

Big Teddy:  I'll surf the net...

 

 

Jeep:  Of course you will!!!  You don't do diapers, but you'll surf the net...anything to get outta doing work!

Big Teddy:  I'm going to ignore that comment...but, it says here we can buy cloth diapers with these easy snaps on them so we won't need safety pins at all.

Jeep:  Quick click buy, click buy!!!!

JackJack:  Easy Jeep, it's not an EBay website, we won't loose it to another bidder.

Jeep:  Sorry I'm a recovering EBay addict.

SheepSheep:  Baby steps Jeep Baby steps.

Wanna Play A Game?

 

JackJack:  So exactly how do we put together Peapod's costume?

Pumpkinspice:  This year we're going to make him his own costume.

Jeep:  Can't we just buy him one?

Pumpkinspice:  Well yeah, but why when we can make him one that he can keep for years to come.

JoeJoe:  Sure, sure.

Pumpkinspice:  Ok Jeep, the instructions say you need to cut the pattern out.

Jeep:  Poke me with that yard stick again, and I'm gonna snap it and you like a twig.

Pumpkinspice:  I'll tell Mom on you!  SheepSheep you're in charge of sewing, JoeJoe and ApeApe are in charge of placing the decals, and JackJack is in charge of ironing.  Let's get a move on it, we only have 5 hrs before the trick or treaters get here.

 

3 hours later...

 

Jeep:  So what's everyone going as for Halloween?

 

ApeApe:  I'm going as Pinhead from the movie Hellraiser!

Jeep:  That's pretty impressive.

JackJack:  Just don't drop any of your pins, last thing we need is to take Peapod to the emergency room for swallowing one on Halloween.

 

Jeep:  What about you JoeJoe?

JoeJoe:  Sure, sure.

Jeep:  Ummmm ok?  So what are you for Halloween?

JoeJoe:  Oh, uhhhhhhhh, oh sure sure.  Edward Scissorhands.

JackJack:  Did anyone dress up in a Peapod friendly costume, I mean seriously pins and scissors aren't the best costumes to have around him!

Jeep:  Chill JackJack, it's Halloween.

 

JackJack:  Well I guess, I'll be the responsible one around here tonight....I'm Batman.

Pumpkinspice:  Did you borrow Peapod's costume from last year?!

JackJack:  No...well maybe...ok fine, but I had too.  I've been busy keeping an eye on Peapod.

 

SheepSheep:  I'm t-t-the creepy c-c-chic from T-T-The Grudge....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

JackJack:  Now that's kid friendly!

SheepSheep:  W-W-Well at least I-I-I don't have any s-s-sharp objects on me t-t-that could endanger P-P-Peapod's life!

JackJack:  Can't argue with that logic.

 

 

Jeep:  Those are all "Child's Play," Check it out, I'm Michael Myers from Halloween.

ApeApe:  Oh that's a good one.

Jeep:  I know, I'm an expert on Halloween.

JackJack:  Well Pumpkinspice, what about you?

Pumpkinspice:  I'm not dressing up this year, I'm going to just hand out candy.

Jeep:  Pumpkinspice is scared of Halloween.

Pumpkinspice:  No I'm not!!!

Jeep:  Oh please, you so are too.  You won't even watch scary movies!

Pumpkinspice:  You can't unsee some things!

Jeep:  Chicken!

Pumpkinspice: Take it back!  TAKE IT BACK!

Jeep:  Don't be a baby, I'm just teasing you!

 

Chucky Doll:  Oh hi guys, wanna play a game?

 

ApeApe:  Chucky!!!! Run for your lives!

Jeep:  Every bear for himself!

SheepSheep:  D-D-Don't stab me, I'm t-t-to fluffy to die!

JackJack:  Move your big fat rear Big Teddy!!!

 

Pumpkinspice: Hahahaha, that'll teach them to call me chicken!  Well Chucky, what do I owe you?

Chucky:  How about you lend me Peapod for a few hours and we'll call it even?

Pumpkinspice:  I don't watch that many horror films, but I did see yours...how about 5 bucks?

Chucky:  Fine!

Pumpkinspice:  Good, now do me a solid and go out the back door, don't want them all knowing we collaborated on this little scare tactic.

 

HAVE A CHUCKYLICIOUS HALLOWEEN!!!

 

Steelers' Diapers Make Me Smile

 

Pumpkinspice:  Exactly how are we putting this towel on him as a diaper?

Jeep:  I think we have to wait until he falls asleep, and then we can slip it on without too much trouble.

Pumpkinspice:  How long before he passes out for his nap?

Jeep:  I don't know!  We just need to sit here and be quiet.

Pumpkinspice:  I don't like sitting still, it's no fun.

Jeep:  Yeah, you also don't know how to stay quiet either.

Pumpkinspice:  Do you want to put this on him yourself?!

Jeep:  Ok, ok, now seriously let's be quiet or he'll expect us to keep him entertained.

 

30 Minutes Later...

 

Pumpkinspice:  You think he's out?

Jeep:  I think so, get in there and poke him.

Pumpkinspice:  Why do I have to poke him?  This was YOUR idea!

Jeep:  Precisely, which is why you're supposed to do what I tell you to do.

 

Pumpkinspice:  He's really not making this easy is he?

Jeep:  Slip your paw under him and unzip his pjs, then we can just slip it off him and put the towel on.

Pumpkinspice:  This is a really bad idea, he's twice my size and if he wakes up there's no telling what he'll do to me.

Jeep:  Don't be such a baby, he's totally passed out.

 

Pumpkinspice:  Help, he's got me by my head!!!!!

Jeep:  Don't panic, I'll just pull you out by your legs.

Pumpkinspice:  Are you pulling?!

Jeep:  Wowzers!!! He's strong!!

 

Jeep:  Well, I gotta say he looks good sporting the Terrible Towel as a diaper.

Pumpkinspice:  He should!  I nearly lost my neck to him!

Jeep:  Don't be overly dramatic, he only had you momentarily and I got you out pretty quick.

Pumpkinspice:  FINE!  But just so you know, I don't think we'll be able to put the towel on him again, he's going to outgrow it soon.

Jeep:  Yeah you're right, but a Steelers' Diaper sure makes me smile.

Pumpkinspice:  We better put a shirt on him, poor hairless cub will catch a cold and we'll never hear the end of it from Mom.

 

EBay Battle On!

 

Jeep:  Oh you think so huh?!  EBay battle on!!!

Pumpkinspice:  How long have you been awake, and WHAT are you doing?!

Jeep:  Never went to sleep...too much action going on, can't sleep, get me more coffee, got an eBay battle going...

Pumpkinspice:  I'm pretty sure you don't need anymore coffee..what are you bidding on that's soooooooooooooo important?

Jeep:  Black and white toddler size 6 converse shoes for Peapod...why you dirty, no good, vindictive...

Pumpkinspice:  Hey!

Jeep:  Huh?  Oh no not you, I was referring to starbuddypumpernickle89.

Pumpkinspice:  Who?

Jeep:  That's who I'm having an eBay battle with, and he's sneaky!  He's out bid me on at least three different items in the past 5 days, and this time he's going down!

 

JackJack:  Are the shoes really that important?

Pumpkinspice:  No, at this point its a matter of pride.  Jeep hates to lose.

Big Teddy:  How much money is he in for now?

Pumpkinspice:  Last time I checked, about $30.00.

JackJack:  For a used pair of shoes?!

Pumpkinspice:  Yup!

Big Teddy:  Don't they sell them for around that brand new?

Pumpkinspice:  Like I said, he doesn't like to lose.

 

LAST 2 MINUTES OF THE BIDDING WAR...

 

 

JackJack:  You got him on the ropes now!

Big Teddy:  Yeah, there's no way he's going to bid against you and that price!

Pumpkinspice:  Mom's gonna kill you when she gets the bill.

Jeep:  No, no, NOOOOOO!

JackJack:  Hurry, click bid..click bid...click it!

Big Teddy:  We're in too deep, no turning back now!

Pumpkinspice:  Hurry!  Don't let him outbid us again!

Jeep:  Whew, we've got it...I think we're safe, only 10 seconds left in the bid.  There's no way....NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Big Teddy:  I could just cry, we had him, we had him!

JackJack:  I'm devastated, after all that bidding and to lose...like that...it was just sooo wrong!

Pumpkinspice:  I was rather fond of those shoes too...I would have gladly paid $75.00 for those used shoes.

Jeep:  Defeated...once again.  I need sleep.

JackJack:  That's it?!  We're just giving up like that?

Jeep:  He beat me fair and square, but no I never give up...we have another bidding war that will end in two days.  I'll rest up, my clicking paw has gone numb, but after a good rest I'll be ready to battle again starbuddypumpernickle89.  I will have my REVENGE!!!!!