Steelers' Diapers Make Me Smile

 

Pumpkinspice:  Exactly how are we putting this towel on him as a diaper?

Jeep:  I think we have to wait until he falls asleep, and then we can slip it on without too much trouble.

Pumpkinspice:  How long before he passes out for his nap?

Jeep:  I don't know!  We just need to sit here and be quiet.

Pumpkinspice:  I don't like sitting still, it's no fun.

Jeep:  Yeah, you also don't know how to stay quiet either.

Pumpkinspice:  Do you want to put this on him yourself?!

Jeep:  Ok, ok, now seriously let's be quiet or he'll expect us to keep him entertained.

 

30 Minutes Later...

 

Pumpkinspice:  You think he's out?

Jeep:  I think so, get in there and poke him.

Pumpkinspice:  Why do I have to poke him?  This was YOUR idea!

Jeep:  Precisely, which is why you're supposed to do what I tell you to do.

 

Pumpkinspice:  He's really not making this easy is he?

Jeep:  Slip your paw under him and unzip his pjs, then we can just slip it off him and put the towel on.

Pumpkinspice:  This is a really bad idea, he's twice my size and if he wakes up there's no telling what he'll do to me.

Jeep:  Don't be such a baby, he's totally passed out.

 

Pumpkinspice:  Help, he's got me by my head!!!!!

Jeep:  Don't panic, I'll just pull you out by your legs.

Pumpkinspice:  Are you pulling?!

Jeep:  Wowzers!!! He's strong!!

 

Jeep:  Well, I gotta say he looks good sporting the Terrible Towel as a diaper.

Pumpkinspice:  He should!  I nearly lost my neck to him!

Jeep:  Don't be overly dramatic, he only had you momentarily and I got you out pretty quick.

Pumpkinspice:  FINE!  But just so you know, I don't think we'll be able to put the towel on him again, he's going to outgrow it soon.

Jeep:  Yeah you're right, but a Steelers' Diaper sure makes me smile.

Pumpkinspice:  We better put a shirt on him, poor hairless cub will catch a cold and we'll never hear the end of it from Mom.

 

EBay Battle On!

 

Jeep:  Oh you think so huh?!  EBay battle on!!!

Pumpkinspice:  How long have you been awake, and WHAT are you doing?!

Jeep:  Never went to sleep...too much action going on, can't sleep, get me more coffee, got an eBay battle going...

Pumpkinspice:  I'm pretty sure you don't need anymore coffee..what are you bidding on that's soooooooooooooo important?

Jeep:  Black and white toddler size 6 converse shoes for Peapod...why you dirty, no good, vindictive...

Pumpkinspice:  Hey!

Jeep:  Huh?  Oh no not you, I was referring to starbuddypumpernickle89.

Pumpkinspice:  Who?

Jeep:  That's who I'm having an eBay battle with, and he's sneaky!  He's out bid me on at least three different items in the past 5 days, and this time he's going down!

 

JackJack:  Are the shoes really that important?

Pumpkinspice:  No, at this point its a matter of pride.  Jeep hates to lose.

Big Teddy:  How much money is he in for now?

Pumpkinspice:  Last time I checked, about $30.00.

JackJack:  For a used pair of shoes?!

Pumpkinspice:  Yup!

Big Teddy:  Don't they sell them for around that brand new?

Pumpkinspice:  Like I said, he doesn't like to lose.

 

LAST 2 MINUTES OF THE BIDDING WAR...

 

 

JackJack:  You got him on the ropes now!

Big Teddy:  Yeah, there's no way he's going to bid against you and that price!

Pumpkinspice:  Mom's gonna kill you when she gets the bill.

Jeep:  No, no, NOOOOOO!

JackJack:  Hurry, click bid..click bid...click it!

Big Teddy:  We're in too deep, no turning back now!

Pumpkinspice:  Hurry!  Don't let him outbid us again!

Jeep:  Whew, we've got it...I think we're safe, only 10 seconds left in the bid.  There's no way....NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Big Teddy:  I could just cry, we had him, we had him!

JackJack:  I'm devastated, after all that bidding and to lose...like that...it was just sooo wrong!

Pumpkinspice:  I was rather fond of those shoes too...I would have gladly paid $75.00 for those used shoes.

Jeep:  Defeated...once again.  I need sleep.

JackJack:  That's it?!  We're just giving up like that?

Jeep:  He beat me fair and square, but no I never give up...we have another bidding war that will end in two days.  I'll rest up, my clicking paw has gone numb, but after a good rest I'll be ready to battle again starbuddypumpernickle89.  I will have my REVENGE!!!!!

Cookie Monster Hungry!!

 

Cookie Monster:  Cookie Monster hungry!  Yuck!  Not cookie!

JackJack:  How many times do I have to tell you, NO CHEWING ON THE SOFA, it's not a cookie!

Cookie Monster:  I hungry!!

JackJack:  Well you just have to wait until snack time like the rest of us.

Jeep:  What's up with Cookie Monster lately?

JackJack:  It's a combination of cookie addiction...and I think he might be teething, he's been chewing on EVERYTHING!

Pumpkinspice:  Is it even safe for him to be around Peapod?

JackJack:  For now but if he keeps at it I might have to inquire about a muzzle for him.

 

Pumpkinspice:  Jeep, you think if I gave him a lego block and told him it was a cookie that he'd try to eat it?

Jeep:  I don't think we should encourage him, JackJack is already having a hard time with him as it is...go ahead though.

Pumpkinspice:  Sweet!  Hey Cookie Monster I have a cookie for you!

Cookie Monster:  Me want cookie...gimme, gimme, gimme... 

 

 Cookie Monster:  Blegh...NOT COOKIE!!!

Jeep: Now that's funny, I don't care who you are.

Cookie Monster:  Not nice, Cookie Monster WANT COOKIE!!!!!

Pumpkinspice:  Let's go find other things to feed him.

Jeep:  You're on! 

 

 

JackJack:  NO, BAD COOKIE MONSTER!  WE DON'T EAT PEAPOD!!!!!

Cookie Monster:  Nom, nom, nom...he smell like COOKIES...he taste like COOKIES TOO!!!!!!

JackJack:  That's it, you're getting spankings...maybe then you won't feel a need to bite everyone and confuse them with cookies!

 

Big Teddy:  I don't wanna.

JackJack:  It's ok Big Teddy, just a few pats on his bottom won't hurt him.  I'd do it myself but he's too big and won't fit on my lap, and you're the only one with a big enough lap out of all of us.

Big Teddy:  But I'm not a fighter...I'm a lover.  Even Peapod knows that!

JackJack:  You don't want Cookie Monster to bite Peapod anymore do you?

Cookie Monster:  He taste like COOKIES!!

JackJack:  See now he's obsessed with nibbling on Peapod, we have to correct his bad behavior now or he will get really out of control.

Big Teddy:  Ok, just a few pats...right?

JackJack:  Right!  Well?  Have you learned your lesson Cookie Monster?

 

 

Cookie Monster:  I no bite Peapod...Peapod not cookie.

JackJack:  That's ok little buddy...we'll get you some help with your cookie addiction.

 

Cookie Monster:  I smell COOKIES!!!! NOM, NOM, NOM!!!!

JackJack:  Big Teddy!  A few more pats to his bottom please!

Big Teddy:  No, you said only a few...you handle it!



Superstitious About Being Superstitious

 

Jeep:  Oh this won't do!

Pumpkinspice:  What won't do?

Jeep:  This whole setup, it's all OFF!

Pumpkinspice:  Whoa, whoa, whoa, settle down...no need to panic. Just tell me what's wrong?!

Jeep:  This bird is facing the wrong way, and all this diaper stuff needs to be removed.  How does Mom think we're going to win a football game when he's facing the wrong way?!  He needs to face the tv!

Pumpkinspice:  YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!  This is about us losing the game last week to the Broncos?!

Jeep:  This is serious business Pumpkinspice, and we've got another game coming up on Sunday.  We need to make this house right...we need good JooJoo.

 

 

Pumpkinspice:  If you start rearranging the house Mom's gonna go bonkers on you.

Jeep:  Is the bird looking at the tv now?

Pumpkinspice:  I'm not being apart of this.

Jeep:  Who's team are you on?  If you're not a TRUE Raven's fan then I'll boot you from watching football games with us.

Pumpkinspice:  You can't do that!

Jeep:  Watch me!  I won't have you're bad JooJoo mucking up our chances of winning!!!!

 

Pumpkinspice:  Talk about being paranoid!

Jeep:  You put those cushions back right now! 

Pumpkinspice:  Oh come on!  I can't see the tv if I'm not sitting on something!

Jeep:  Find something else to sit on, and don't disturb those pillows.  I've placed them perfectly to ensure the birds face the tv....



 

Jeep:  Peapod, you're responsibility is to stare at that Raven's Flag every time we go for a touchdown.

Pumpkinspice:  But that's during his nap time...Mom's not going to go for that.

Jeep:  Dad will understand.

Pumpkinspice:  Well, here's a thought, why don't we just hang the flag over his crib during nap time.

Jeep:  Now, you're thinking like a Raven's fan!

Pumpkinspice:  I was JOKING...you know you're just being overly superstitious right?

Jeep:  I don't believe in superstitions, but I am superstitious about being superstitious.

Pumpkinspice:  Whoa...now that's deep.

Jeep:  That's what we do as Raven's fans, we think deeply and feel passionately about our team.  GO RAVENS!!!!

The Looooooong Drive

 

SheepSheep:  H-h-how long is th-th-this ride?

Pumpkinspice: Long....

JackJack:  How long is long?

Jeep:  Really long...

VeVe:  In terms of time and distance?

Pumpkinspice:  In terms of time...FOREVERRRRRRRRR!

Jeep:  In terms of distance...mile after mile after mile after mile.

 

Jeep:  Soooo, how we looking on bathroom breaks?

Pumpkinspice:  Tell Dad he better pull over quick or I'll leave a tennis ball sized puddle in the car seat.

SheepSheep:  C-c-can we g-g-get water too?

JackJack:  Peapod needs a diaper change while we're at it, and a ten minute leg stretch.

VeVe:  I need a walk...where's my leash?

Jeep:  Did you get all that Dad?  Dad?  Dad?!

Pumpkinspice:  Give it up Jeep, he's not pulling over unless we need gas...someone pass me the empty water bottle and DON'T LOOK!!!

 

 

JackJack:  What's the ruckus back here VeVe?  Why's Peapod crying?!

VeVe:  I don't know, I've done everything.

JackJack:  I'm coming back there.

 

VeVe:  If we don't calm him down quick, his Dad is going to get upset.

JackJack:  Come on little buddy, you gotta calm down.  Please calm down or you're Dad won't let us come on road trips with you anymore.

VeVe:  Better call in reinforcements, SHEEPSHEEP!!!!!

 

 

SheepSheep:  Shhhh, it's ok, I'm here.  Wanna cuddle, there, there, that's a good Peapod.

VeVe:  How does she DO that?!

JackJack:  I wanna know what happened to her stutter?!

SheepSheep:  I-I-I don't St-st-stutter when I t-t-talk to Peapod.

VeVe:  Well ain't you just the Peapod whisperer!!

 

JackJack:  Dogpile!!!!

VeVe: MY TAIL, MY TAIL!!

 

Many, many, many hours later...

 



 

Pumpkinspice:  Well, isn't that just the cutest!

Jeep:  Poor Peapod was tired, he must have worn them out too.

Pumpkinspice:  I guess so, they look so cozy.  Don't you just wanna crawl in with them Jeep?

Jeep:  NO thank you, Peapod thrashes in his sleep.  It's only a matter of time before he boots them all out of his seat.

 

Several more hours later...

 

 

Pumpkinspice:  Dad...Dad...Dad...hey Dad, Dad I need to pee again.  No seriously Dad, I HAVE TO PEE AND I WILL NOT USE THE WATER BOTTLE AGAIN!!!!  DAD!!!!

Jeep:  Give it up Pumpkinspice,  here's another water bottle...everyone avert your eyes.

Mandated Time Out!!!!

 Pumpkinspice:  Why is Big Teddy sitting in the corner?

JackJack:  I had to give him a mandated time out.
Jeep:  Really?!  What could he possibly have done wrong?
JackJack:  He got a little too rough with Peapod and caused him to cry.
Pumpkinspice:  Wow, that's not like him.  He's normally a big softie.
JackJack:  Well he didn't mean to hurt him...he just doesn't know his own strength sometimes.
Jeep:  Well how much longer does he have Warden?
JackJack:  Another ten minutes should make him learn his lesson.

2 Hours later....

 

Pumpkinspice:  Sheesh, Big Teddy make Peapod cry again?!

JackJack:  NO poor guy is really punishing himself from earlier...I should never have punished him.  Poor guy refuses to come out of the corner, something about he might hurt Peapod again.

Jeep:  Have you tried talking to him?

JackJack:  I've tried everything, but he won't budge, just sits there wallowing in his own guilt.

Pumpkinspice:  Why don't you let Jeep and I have a go at it.

JackJack:  Good luck guys, I know Peapod's missing rough housing with him.

 

:

 

Pumpkinspice:  Hey big guy, how ya doing? Need some water?  Want a cookie?  Need a cuddle?  Big guy want a hug?

Jeep:  What are you doing Pumpkinspice?!

Pumpkinspice:  I'm trying to comfort him!

Jeep:  Well stop, you're not helping.  Now Big Teddy, tell me what's going on.

Big Teddy:  I hurt Peapod...I bad Teddy.

Pumpkinspice:  Peapod's fine, he's not still hurt and making him cry every now and then doesn't make you a bad Teddy.

Big Teddy:  NO?  But, he cried real bad.

Jeep:  Peapod's a tough little guy, he might cry real hard but he's usually over it real quick.  He can handle anything you throw his way.

Big Teddy:  I won't hurt him?  I don't like when he cries.

Pumpkinspice:  Nah, besides he was probably tired when you guys were rough housing.

Jeep:  Yeah, he gets extreme when he's tired.

Big Teddy:  He did take nap right after I hurt him.

Jeep:  See then he probably cried because he was tired and not really from you hurting him.

Pumpkinspice:  Yeah and now that you know that, don't you think Peapod deserves some playtime with you?

 

Big Teddy:  I'm gonna get you Peapod....Rooooooaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr!!!!!

 



A Birthday Note To Peapod

 

 

Dear Peapod,

 

  We'll be honest, when Mom and Dad told us they were having a cub we thought it was the end of our World as we knew it.  Little did we know how much we would fall in love with a bald, white albino cub such as yourself, and yet we can't imagine life without you now.  Not only have you given us a year's worth of amusement, but you've also brought us new friends too...granted a few aren't so friendly, but as long as they shower you with love we'll accept them or tolerate them as best we can. 

 

  The first three months of your life was REALLY rough on us...why didn't you sleep?!  Don't you know baby bears need their beauty rest?!  After all, you of all bears probably needed the most sleep of all...seeing as you have no fur!  Seriously, how come you don't have any fur?!  Hopefully, next year we can report that you're sporting a nice, healthy fur coat...we digress.  Those first few months you really didn't do much; eat, sleep, pee, repeat...pretty dull if you ask us considering you refused to let us ALL sleep.

 

  But, all of a sudden you started to move around and look at your surroundings, which really meant the fun was just beginning.  By this time you were constantly smiling at us even though Mom and Dad were safe about not letting us get too close to you, they were probably afraid you'd get germs on us and make us sick...they really were new to the whole baby bear experience, don't worry we did a lot of tutorials on your behalf to keep them straight.  Out of no where you were mastering the army man crawl and you were also a bouncing expertise.  We were astounded at how quickly and agile you were becoming...how could we not, no other baby bear could ever measure up to your skills, of course it helps that we were right there every step of the way guiding you as big brother bears too. 

 

Then, out of no where, you were a crawling genius.  I mean you could scamper faster than we ever could.  And you were out growing everything so fast.  We were pulling kitchen duty day and night because you were a garbage disposal...we've never seen any cub put away food like you do.  Phew, and do your diapers show it...AND smell it!!!  But, that's ok, no matter how much you poop, we didn't mind changing all those diapers because in our eyes that meant you were happy, healthy, and FULL!  By this time you were babbling, according to Mom, don't worry buddy we knew what you were saying and years from now when Mom says you were just babbling we'll correct her...she just doesn't understand baby bear talk.

 

Finally, your last three months have been an absolute blast.  You started off with standing and now your walking like crazy...you've even managed to speed walk.  Dad says you look like a Silver-back Gorilla, which we have to agree, and he also says you look like a drunk guy in the bar when you get tired but still attempt to walk...again, we don't disagree.  You love giving all your friends kisses, no offense but we prefer to keep our noses drool free.  And your toys are super cool, we can't wait for you to completely outgrow them because they're going in our room permanently.  It really is a shame all your clothes are off limits...we'll work on Mom some more, because you're super fashionable and ALL the ladies dig you...which really isn't surprising since all us Baker bears get the ladies.

 

Overall, it's been a pretty good year that started off shaky but in the end you've won us over little buddy.  Your smile is infectious and we can't help but laugh when you laugh.  We'll keep doing everything we can to help you grow into a big bear and hope one day you'll look back at our adventures and smile with pride because we couldn't be prouder of you.  You really have completed our family and because of you, we might...MIGHT, consider letting Mom and Dad bring home another baby bear, but we'll discuss that possibility at a later, MUCH LATER date.

 

We love you Peapod to the ''furthest'' star and back,

 

Pumpkinspice and Jeep