Superstitious About Being Superstitious

 

Jeep:  Oh this won't do!

Pumpkinspice:  What won't do?

Jeep:  This whole setup, it's all OFF!

Pumpkinspice:  Whoa, whoa, whoa, settle down...no need to panic. Just tell me what's wrong?!

Jeep:  This bird is facing the wrong way, and all this diaper stuff needs to be removed.  How does Mom think we're going to win a football game when he's facing the wrong way?!  He needs to face the tv!

Pumpkinspice:  YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!  This is about us losing the game last week to the Broncos?!

Jeep:  This is serious business Pumpkinspice, and we've got another game coming up on Sunday.  We need to make this house right...we need good JooJoo.

 

 

Pumpkinspice:  If you start rearranging the house Mom's gonna go bonkers on you.

Jeep:  Is the bird looking at the tv now?

Pumpkinspice:  I'm not being apart of this.

Jeep:  Who's team are you on?  If you're not a TRUE Raven's fan then I'll boot you from watching football games with us.

Pumpkinspice:  You can't do that!

Jeep:  Watch me!  I won't have you're bad JooJoo mucking up our chances of winning!!!!

 

Pumpkinspice:  Talk about being paranoid!

Jeep:  You put those cushions back right now! 

Pumpkinspice:  Oh come on!  I can't see the tv if I'm not sitting on something!

Jeep:  Find something else to sit on, and don't disturb those pillows.  I've placed them perfectly to ensure the birds face the tv....



 

Jeep:  Peapod, you're responsibility is to stare at that Raven's Flag every time we go for a touchdown.

Pumpkinspice:  But that's during his nap time...Mom's not going to go for that.

Jeep:  Dad will understand.

Pumpkinspice:  Well, here's a thought, why don't we just hang the flag over his crib during nap time.

Jeep:  Now, you're thinking like a Raven's fan!

Pumpkinspice:  I was JOKING...you know you're just being overly superstitious right?

Jeep:  I don't believe in superstitions, but I am superstitious about being superstitious.

Pumpkinspice:  Whoa...now that's deep.

Jeep:  That's what we do as Raven's fans, we think deeply and feel passionately about our team.  GO RAVENS!!!!

The Looooooong Drive

 

SheepSheep:  H-h-how long is th-th-this ride?

Pumpkinspice: Long....

JackJack:  How long is long?

Jeep:  Really long...

VeVe:  In terms of time and distance?

Pumpkinspice:  In terms of time...FOREVERRRRRRRRR!

Jeep:  In terms of distance...mile after mile after mile after mile.

 

Jeep:  Soooo, how we looking on bathroom breaks?

Pumpkinspice:  Tell Dad he better pull over quick or I'll leave a tennis ball sized puddle in the car seat.

SheepSheep:  C-c-can we g-g-get water too?

JackJack:  Peapod needs a diaper change while we're at it, and a ten minute leg stretch.

VeVe:  I need a walk...where's my leash?

Jeep:  Did you get all that Dad?  Dad?  Dad?!

Pumpkinspice:  Give it up Jeep, he's not pulling over unless we need gas...someone pass me the empty water bottle and DON'T LOOK!!!

 

 

JackJack:  What's the ruckus back here VeVe?  Why's Peapod crying?!

VeVe:  I don't know, I've done everything.

JackJack:  I'm coming back there.

 

VeVe:  If we don't calm him down quick, his Dad is going to get upset.

JackJack:  Come on little buddy, you gotta calm down.  Please calm down or you're Dad won't let us come on road trips with you anymore.

VeVe:  Better call in reinforcements, SHEEPSHEEP!!!!!

 

 

SheepSheep:  Shhhh, it's ok, I'm here.  Wanna cuddle, there, there, that's a good Peapod.

VeVe:  How does she DO that?!

JackJack:  I wanna know what happened to her stutter?!

SheepSheep:  I-I-I don't St-st-stutter when I t-t-talk to Peapod.

VeVe:  Well ain't you just the Peapod whisperer!!

 

JackJack:  Dogpile!!!!

VeVe: MY TAIL, MY TAIL!!

 

Many, many, many hours later...

 



 

Pumpkinspice:  Well, isn't that just the cutest!

Jeep:  Poor Peapod was tired, he must have worn them out too.

Pumpkinspice:  I guess so, they look so cozy.  Don't you just wanna crawl in with them Jeep?

Jeep:  NO thank you, Peapod thrashes in his sleep.  It's only a matter of time before he boots them all out of his seat.

 

Several more hours later...

 

 

Pumpkinspice:  Dad...Dad...Dad...hey Dad, Dad I need to pee again.  No seriously Dad, I HAVE TO PEE AND I WILL NOT USE THE WATER BOTTLE AGAIN!!!!  DAD!!!!

Jeep:  Give it up Pumpkinspice,  here's another water bottle...everyone avert your eyes.

Mandated Time Out!!!!

 Pumpkinspice:  Why is Big Teddy sitting in the corner?

JackJack:  I had to give him a mandated time out.
Jeep:  Really?!  What could he possibly have done wrong?
JackJack:  He got a little too rough with Peapod and caused him to cry.
Pumpkinspice:  Wow, that's not like him.  He's normally a big softie.
JackJack:  Well he didn't mean to hurt him...he just doesn't know his own strength sometimes.
Jeep:  Well how much longer does he have Warden?
JackJack:  Another ten minutes should make him learn his lesson.

2 Hours later....

 

Pumpkinspice:  Sheesh, Big Teddy make Peapod cry again?!

JackJack:  NO poor guy is really punishing himself from earlier...I should never have punished him.  Poor guy refuses to come out of the corner, something about he might hurt Peapod again.

Jeep:  Have you tried talking to him?

JackJack:  I've tried everything, but he won't budge, just sits there wallowing in his own guilt.

Pumpkinspice:  Why don't you let Jeep and I have a go at it.

JackJack:  Good luck guys, I know Peapod's missing rough housing with him.

 

:

 

Pumpkinspice:  Hey big guy, how ya doing? Need some water?  Want a cookie?  Need a cuddle?  Big guy want a hug?

Jeep:  What are you doing Pumpkinspice?!

Pumpkinspice:  I'm trying to comfort him!

Jeep:  Well stop, you're not helping.  Now Big Teddy, tell me what's going on.

Big Teddy:  I hurt Peapod...I bad Teddy.

Pumpkinspice:  Peapod's fine, he's not still hurt and making him cry every now and then doesn't make you a bad Teddy.

Big Teddy:  NO?  But, he cried real bad.

Jeep:  Peapod's a tough little guy, he might cry real hard but he's usually over it real quick.  He can handle anything you throw his way.

Big Teddy:  I won't hurt him?  I don't like when he cries.

Pumpkinspice:  Nah, besides he was probably tired when you guys were rough housing.

Jeep:  Yeah, he gets extreme when he's tired.

Big Teddy:  He did take nap right after I hurt him.

Jeep:  See then he probably cried because he was tired and not really from you hurting him.

Pumpkinspice:  Yeah and now that you know that, don't you think Peapod deserves some playtime with you?

 

Big Teddy:  I'm gonna get you Peapod....Rooooooaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr!!!!!

 



A Birthday Note To Peapod

 

 

Dear Peapod,

 

  We'll be honest, when Mom and Dad told us they were having a cub we thought it was the end of our World as we knew it.  Little did we know how much we would fall in love with a bald, white albino cub such as yourself, and yet we can't imagine life without you now.  Not only have you given us a year's worth of amusement, but you've also brought us new friends too...granted a few aren't so friendly, but as long as they shower you with love we'll accept them or tolerate them as best we can. 

 

  The first three months of your life was REALLY rough on us...why didn't you sleep?!  Don't you know baby bears need their beauty rest?!  After all, you of all bears probably needed the most sleep of all...seeing as you have no fur!  Seriously, how come you don't have any fur?!  Hopefully, next year we can report that you're sporting a nice, healthy fur coat...we digress.  Those first few months you really didn't do much; eat, sleep, pee, repeat...pretty dull if you ask us considering you refused to let us ALL sleep.

 

  But, all of a sudden you started to move around and look at your surroundings, which really meant the fun was just beginning.  By this time you were constantly smiling at us even though Mom and Dad were safe about not letting us get too close to you, they were probably afraid you'd get germs on us and make us sick...they really were new to the whole baby bear experience, don't worry we did a lot of tutorials on your behalf to keep them straight.  Out of no where you were mastering the army man crawl and you were also a bouncing expertise.  We were astounded at how quickly and agile you were becoming...how could we not, no other baby bear could ever measure up to your skills, of course it helps that we were right there every step of the way guiding you as big brother bears too. 

 

Then, out of no where, you were a crawling genius.  I mean you could scamper faster than we ever could.  And you were out growing everything so fast.  We were pulling kitchen duty day and night because you were a garbage disposal...we've never seen any cub put away food like you do.  Phew, and do your diapers show it...AND smell it!!!  But, that's ok, no matter how much you poop, we didn't mind changing all those diapers because in our eyes that meant you were happy, healthy, and FULL!  By this time you were babbling, according to Mom, don't worry buddy we knew what you were saying and years from now when Mom says you were just babbling we'll correct her...she just doesn't understand baby bear talk.

 

Finally, your last three months have been an absolute blast.  You started off with standing and now your walking like crazy...you've even managed to speed walk.  Dad says you look like a Silver-back Gorilla, which we have to agree, and he also says you look like a drunk guy in the bar when you get tired but still attempt to walk...again, we don't disagree.  You love giving all your friends kisses, no offense but we prefer to keep our noses drool free.  And your toys are super cool, we can't wait for you to completely outgrow them because they're going in our room permanently.  It really is a shame all your clothes are off limits...we'll work on Mom some more, because you're super fashionable and ALL the ladies dig you...which really isn't surprising since all us Baker bears get the ladies.

 

Overall, it's been a pretty good year that started off shaky but in the end you've won us over little buddy.  Your smile is infectious and we can't help but laugh when you laugh.  We'll keep doing everything we can to help you grow into a big bear and hope one day you'll look back at our adventures and smile with pride because we couldn't be prouder of you.  You really have completed our family and because of you, we might...MIGHT, consider letting Mom and Dad bring home another baby bear, but we'll discuss that possibility at a later, MUCH LATER date.

 

We love you Peapod to the ''furthest'' star and back,

 

Pumpkinspice and Jeep

 

Peapod's Revenge

 

ApeApe: Noooooo! Please Peapod, don't do it!!!!  I swear I won't EVER EVER EVER, and I mean EVER make you sick again!!!  I'm begging you!!!

 

 

ApeApe:  Please, somebody, anybody, help me!!  *Gulp* I-I-I can't swim!  *Splash*  I'm allergic to water!  *Gurgle* I'm too cute to die by drowning!

 

 

 JeepJeep:  How you feeling little buddy?

Pumpkinspice:  Not so good, I think I caught whatever Peapod had.

Jeep:  Yup your head feels a little warm.

ApeApe:  HELLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPP!

Pumpkinspice:  Did you hear that?

Jeep:  Hear what?

ApeApe:  PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!!!

Pumpkinspice:  There it is again.

Jeep:  This is getting serious.  Your fever must be really kicking in cause you're hearing things.

Pumpkinspice:  NO, seriously I keep hearing someone asking for help.

ApeApe:  HE'S GOING TO DROWN ME!!!!!!

Pumpkinspice:  You can't tell me you didn't hear that Jeep?!

Jeep:  No, you're right, sounds like it's coming from the upstairs bathroom!

Pumpkinspice:  We better go investigate.

Jeep: NO, you stay here.  It sounds like ApeApe.

Pumpkinspice:  NO, I'm going with you.  If ApeApe's involved it could be a trick...and I think I need to use the toilet, my tummy's not feeling so good.

  

  

ApeApe:  OH PLEASE SOMEONE SEND HELP...SEND A LIFEGUARD, THE NATIONAL GUARD, THE MARINES.  I DON'T CARE WHO, JUST HELP ME!!!!!

Pumpkinspice:  What are you hollering about?!!!

ApeApe:  Oh thank heavens you heard me, I'm drowning in here.

Jeep:  Last I checked, drowning apes can't talk.

ApeApe:  Well I am and I can't swim, now help me get out of here!!

Pumpkinspice:  Then why did you jump in the bath tub in the first place if you can't swim?!  That just seems dumb if you ask me!

ApeApe:  Peapod threw me in here!  Now can we discuss the details later, like after you get me out?!

Jeep:  Peapod's downstairs, and he's been down there for over an hour.  Don't blame him for your stupid mistakes!!!

ApeApe:  That's what I've been trying to tell you!  He brought me up here for bath time and I've been in this bath tub for the past hour, screaming for help.

Pumpkinspice:  Oh that reminds me Jeep, Mom said something about fishing out a critter from the bath tub.
ApeApe: I'M THAT CRITTER!!!
Jeep: Watch your tone!!  It's ok Pumpkinspice, you're not feeling too good, let's get you back downstairs and I'll make you some chicken noodle soup.
ApeApe:  WHAT ABOUT ME?!
Pumpkinspice: Can I have some saltine crackers too?
Jeep:  Sure thing, I'll even get you a nice tall glass of ginger ale too...oh and ApeApe, unplug the bath tub while your in there.
ApeApe:  I CAN'T SWIM!!!
Jeep:  Just put your feet under your body.
ApeApe: ....oh....
Pumpkinspice :  And don't forget to put the toys away while your at it.

 

Making The Pledge

 

SheepSheep:  W-w-what's everyone lining up for?

Pumpkinspice:  JackJack decided everyone should make their pledge to Peapod again since some of you guys had to take a bath.

SheepSheep:  P-p-pledge?  How do w-w-we pledge?

Jeep:  Well, basically you sit still while Peapod drools all over your mouth.  Mom says it's an open mouth kiss and is perfectly normal for his age, but between you and me I think he just likes to put everything in his mouth just for the heck of it.

 

JackJack:  Alright, alright, settle down.  Now we're going to do this in an orderly fashion.  No cutting, no pushing, and no rushing Peapod. 

ApeApe:  Is this really necessary?!

JackJack:  Well ApeApe, seeing as you were the reason we all had to have a bath, yes it is necessary!  Peapod is like all other bears, he relies on his sense of smell to identify family members.  Which is why it's so important for all of us to get his scent ALL over us.  Any other questions?

Cookie Monster:  Cookie?

JackJack:  Yes...you can have cookies when Peapod is done.  Any other questions?

JoeJoe:  Uh, we get nap afterwards?

JackJack:  Good question, not immediately.  Our next scheduled nap time is when Peapod gets tired and his Mom takes him upstairs for his nap, at that time you may take a nap or watch tv.  Alright everyone, get in line and remember the rules!

 

VeVe: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

SheepSheep:  T-t-this is f-f-f-fun!!!

 

VeVe:  Did you see me guys, did you see me?!

Pumpkinspice:  Yeah!  Peapod totally took you and SheepSheep on a joy ride around the playpen.

VeVe:  It was AWESOME!!!!!

Ms. Monkey:  Hmmpphhh, you're not that special, I go on joy rides ALL the time with Peapod!

VeVe:  Yeah, but did he take YOU on a joy ride after you made your pledge?!

Ms. Monkey:  Of course not, he has to make time for little dogs like you.  He and I will have our own special time!

Jeep:  Ms. Monkey I think you're a little to attached to Peapod.  It's okay for him to play with the others and give them kisses you know.

Ms. Monkey:  Don't be ridiculous, he didn't give anyone kisses except for me.  He opens his mouth and generously lets the others put their noses in his mouth...that doesn't constitute as an open mouth kiss.  He only kisses me, because I am his soul mate.

Pumpkinspice: Ms. Monkey I'm sorry, but you need to snap back to reality, you're his playmate NOT his girlfriend.

 

 

VeVe:  Yeah!!!!

Ms. Monkey:  Watch yourself DOG, I can be your worst enemy if you push me too far.

VeVe:  I may be a dog but Peapod needs to put you on a leash!

Ms. Monkey:  At least I'm not likely to give Peapod fleas!

VeVe:  Yeah well...well...I at least have legs which means I can walk away while you just float there with your silly blankey!

Ms. Monkey:  Why...I...I...I never! The nerve!!!

Jeep:  Wow, did that just happen?

Pumpkinspice:  I give it to Peapod, he's only 11 months and he already has two girls fighting over him!

Jeep:  He takes after me, all chicks go wild and run around crazy when I'm around.

Pumpkinspice:  You're not wearing pants Jeep, I'd go wild and runaway too.

 

The Virus Pandemic...da da da!

While on vacation, ApeApe thinks quietly to himself...

 

 

ApeApe:  This little vacation hasn't been so bad.  I guess its a good thing Peapod never got sick when I rubbed him with my home made virus.  Since he didn't get sick before we left, I guess that means he won't get sick after all, and that means no one has to know I did it.  Life is good.

 

A few days later...

 

JackJack:  Troops there's been a virus pandemic, according to the news everyone's getting sick with a 48hr virus.  I've also been in contact with several other bears and they've informed me that their charge has been sick too.  It seems this is a full blown pandemic!  Now we all know, Peapod is exposed to very little germs, but somehow he got sick and I have a strong feeling someone in our party exposed him to this illness.

VeVe:  Boss, no one has left the house since you guys were away, and no one was allowed entry while you were away either.

Ms. Monkey:  Will my Peapod survive?

JackJack:  Yes he's recovering quite nicely and his Mom is taking aggressive action by disinfecting the entire house.

SheepSheep:  A-a-a-aggressive act-t-tion?!

JackJack:  That's why I assembled all of you together.  All of us sitting here have been exposed to Peapod and his virus which means we are now contaminated.

Skittle Monkey:  Oh no, we're going to DIE!!!!

JackJack:  Snap out of it Skittle Monkey, no one's going to die...but we do need a bath.

JoeJoe:  A bath?! As in we have to get into the White Machine of Suds?!

JackJack:  It's alright, I've entered it several times and as you can see I'm still here with no adverse reaction.  Now buddy up, and be brave my comrades!

 

JackJack:  Now remember, this machine is perfectly safe, but keep with your buddy at all costs.  Never separate, its easier to deal with the machine if you have a wash buddy.

VeVe:  But what about you boss, who's going to be your wash buddy?

JackJack:  I don't need a wash buddy, I'll be too busy swimming around making sure you guys don't get tangled with each other.

SheepSheep:  A-a-after this can we just dry out in the air?

JackJack:  Unfortunately not, we then have to go into the White Machine of Fluff.

ApeApe:  Oh this is ridiculous!!!!

Ms. Monkey:  Be quiet, we will do whatever we have to for Peapod.  I will not let my boyfriend down and I won't let you or anyone else get him sick again.

 

JackJack:  Troops, I've spent several hours investigating the virus pandemic and discovered this recipe book.  It clearly notates how to brew a virus and how to implement it for effective damage.  This home grown terrorist was found amongst us; ApeApe, what do you have to say for your actions?

ApeApe:  I wasn't trying to make him deathly ill, I just wanted him to get sick enough that we wouldn't have to go away for the weekend.

Ms. Monkey: *gasp*

VeVe:  For shame, for shame.

JackJack:  So you don't deny these charges?

ApeApe:  No, but no harm done, he's better right?

JackJack:  We got lucky this time, but you will have to be punished for your participation.

ApeApe:  Go ahead, dole out your punishment.

JackJack:  You are responsible for mopping all the floors!

ApeApe:  That's it?!  Easy peasy, I'll just get a few of my buds to help out and then back to play time!

 

ApeApe:  So which one of you guys are going to help me?  Guys?  Guys?  Come on guys, I didn't mean to hurt Peapod bad, I just wanted him to be a tiny bit sick so we could have a nice weekend just hanging out and playing.  It would have been a mini vacation for us.

 

ApeApe:  Skittle Monkey what do you say buddy, help me with the mopping?

Skittle Monkey:  I see no evil.

 

ApeApe:  What about you Ms. Monkey?

Ms. Monkey:  How could you do such a thing?!  I've always tried to take your side, even with your hair brain schemes of toppling Pumpkinspice and Jeep, but this, this is just to horrendous to even consider condoning!!!  He's the love of my life, my boyfriend, and you made him sick!

ApeApe:  Well fine...and just so you know, it would never work out for you and Peapod, you're a monkey and he's a bear....and I've seen him kissing other girls on the playmat too!

Ms. Monkey:  Lies!!! All LIES!!!!!

 

ApeApe:  Well ol' buddy, I guess the floor mopping is between you and I.

JoeJoe: Nope nope.  Just you.

ApeApe:  But, but, we're buddies.

JoeJoe:  Hurting Peapod not nice, not nice at all.  You mop, I play.

 

5 hours later....

 

ApeApe:  This punishment sucks!  I actually think it's worse than Jeep making me Peapod's Drool Toy!  Never again, never ever again will I brew a virus recipe.  Hope there's still time for play time.

 

 

Personal Note from Pumpkinspice and Jeep:  Thank you to all the Veterans for serving and thank you to all those still serving.  Without your selfless sacrifice, we wouldn't be free Bears, you all are truly our Heroes!  Happy 4th of July!!!!