New Year's Resolution

 

Pumpkinspice: What is Mom and Dad talking about when they say they're making a New Year's Resolution?

Jeep: Every year, people around the world ring in the New Year and then they make a list of all the things they want to change about themselves only to fail at keeping their promises to themselves.

Pumpkinspice: Well Mom says she plans on eating healthier.

Jeep: I give it 2 months max, her will power when it comes to sweets is nearly nonexistent.

Pumpkinspice: Well Dad plans on working out after the New Year.

Jeep: That will last a good 4 months and then a big fat juicy cheeseburger will take him down and all that effort will go to waste and he'll get disgusted and quit working out all together.

Pumpkinspice: Well...I think I'll try to grow a few inches taller.

Jeep: It doesn't work like that.

Pumpkinspice: Why not?

Jeep: You're as tall as you're going to be...you're done growing.

Pumpkinspice: But I don't want to be short anymore.

Jeep: You gotta live with the hand you're dealt with lil buddy.

Pumpkinspice: No I don't...Mom doesn't have to deal with the fact that she's fat, and Dad doesn't have to deal with the fact that he's out of shape, so why do I have to deal with being short!

Jeep: Want me to buy you some stilts?

Pumpkinspice: Well Mr. Smartie Pants, what's your New Year's Resolution then?

Jeep: Don't need one...I'm perfect as is.

Pumpkinspice: So you wouldn't want to be taller?

Jeep: That's your fantasy not mine.

Pumpkinspice: How about losing weight?

Jeep: I'm not fat!

Pumpkinspice: Well you could benefit from not eating sooooo many cookies.

Jeep: I was just helping Santa out!

Pumpkinspice: Well, how about not being so cranky?

Jeep:  Now I'm cranky?!

Pumpkinspice:  You do tend to get a little cranky when I want you to do something.

Jeep:  That's because the things you want me to do are NOT fun!

Pumpkinspice:  Fine, maybe your resolution should be about trying NEW and INTERESTING things!

Jeep:  Great I'm fat, cranky, and boring according to you....Well Happy New Year to me!!!!

Pumpkinspice: Glad I could help you find your New Year's resolution.  Happy New Year!